Understanding, Preventing, and Intervening in Abuse
Child abuse is a problem that leaves deep marks both individually and societally, not only globally but also in our country. It is an issue that, unfortunately, is not talked about enough, often goes unnoticed, or is ignored. In this comprehensive interview with Assoc. Prof. Dr. Bengü Berkmen, Vice Dean of the Faculty of Arts and Sciences at Cyprus International University, various crucial topics were discussed to better understand this complex and multi-dimensional issue, confront societal misconceptions, and explore the necessary steps to protect children. The interview covered the definition of child abuse, the most common cases in Cyprus, the dynamics that render domestic abuse invisible, the role of educational institutions, the adequacy of legal regulations, and the impact of the media. Berkmen also shed light on the psychological consequences of child abuse and the emotional challenges faced by professionals working in this field.
Berkmen emphasized that, in addition to laws, societal awareness, cultural norms, and individual consciousness are also crucial in protecting children. Her expert perspective and the insights she shared serve as an important resource for parents, educators, and all professionals working with children.
1. What is child abuse? What behaviors fall under this category? Are families and members of society sufficiently aware of what constitutes child abuse?
Child abuse should be defined as any behavior that harms a child's physical integrity or development. When we look at the level of knowledge of parents on this issue, we observe that, while behavioral norms may vary from culture to culture, there are still points where we remain very traditional in terms of knowledge and awareness. What I am trying to explain here is that not every behavior is intended to abuse a child, but cultural behavioral impositions or patterns may hinder a child’s ability to protect and defend their own body. For example, these cultural norms might limit a child's ability to say "no," or might even normalize inappropriate behavior due to these patterns. Therefore, we can say that awareness levels are not where we would want them to be anywhere in the world. Our disadvantage is the lack of a child protection policy. Despite our signature on the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child, we are far behind in terms of laws and enforcement. Consequently, multidisciplinary fields working with children have very limited opportunities to raise awareness among both parents and children on this issue.
2. What types of cases of child abuse are most commonly encountered in Cyprus? Which form—physical, emotional, sexual, or neglect—are the most prevalent?
The data is very limited. Child abuse is a universal issue. Since the beginning of human history, child abuse has existed. However, it wasn't until the 1970s that the world officially recognized the term "child abuse." It was with the Battered Child Syndrome that the concept of child abuse began to be discussed globally. Looking at the historical process, it took a long time for society to accept that children are different individuals from adults. The case of Mary Ellen Wilson in 1874, one of the first legal interventions against child abuse, clearly illustrates this. Mary Ellen was a child abandoned by her biological family at a church and placed in foster care. When she was rescued, due to the lack of child rights in the laws of that time, she was presented as an animal in court and saved from her environment by benefiting from animal rights. We can say that research on child abuse began to take shape in the last 100 years and gained momentum in the past 50 years. While child protection laws in America and Europe are very comprehensive, issues related to all forms of child abuse continue worldwide.
When we look specifically at Northern Cyprus, the number of published scientific studies is very low. The government does not keep an annual statistic on this issue. However, court decisions or police records can be utilized. The most recent study was conducted in 2016 by a police officer in their thesis, where they analyzed the number of cases within a year based on crimes. Aside from that, our knowledge about prevalence rates is extremely limited. What we do know is that, compared to more easily identifiable and detectable forms of abuse like physical abuse, sexual abuse is often only detected later, after many instances have occurred. Emotional neglect and abuse, which are behavior patterns based on language, are sometimes not even recognized as abuse. Therefore, while we do not think the prevalence of abuse is low, due to the lack of detectable cases or statistical data, we do not know how severe the extent of this issue actually is.
3. What are some common misconceptions or myths about child abuse in society?
Culture plays a significant role in these widely believed misconceptions. Factors such as the era we live in, the advancement of technology, and the changing structure of families also contribute. The family structure from 30–40 years ago is not the same as today's; the concept of the nuclear family has evolved. Naturally, this also affects how abuse occurs and the myths surrounding it.
For example, 40 years ago, there was a widespread misconception that child sexual abuse only happened at the hands of strangers. This false belief still persists. As a result, parents tend to teach their children things like “don’t take candy from strangers,” “don’t go with someone you don’t know,” or “don’t talk to strangers.” However, today we see that abuse by strangers accounts for less than 15% of cases. In fact, approximately 85% of child sexual abuse is perpetrated by someone the child knows and trusts. This means that while impulsive or one-time sexual abuse cases are less common, abuse committed by someone familiar—where the child may be subjected to it over an extended period—is much more prevalent. The greatest danger is believing that the threat only comes from outside.
At this point, I would like to explain why I mentioned culture. We grow up in a more patriarchal society, where we are taught habits such as always respecting elders and fulfilling their requests without question. For example, during holidays or special occasions, when relatives we don’t see often want to hug our child—and especially when young children don’t want to—we, as parents, often say things like, “Of course you have to hug your uncle/aunt.” This isn’t about the uncle or aunt being an abuser. But the message being given to the child is: “Even if you don’t want to, you have to do certain things. You don’t have control over your own body. Adults make those decisions for you. You don’t have the right to say no.”
There is a common misconception in our behavioral patterns that abuse can only be committed by a stranger, and that someone within the family or close circle would never be an abuser. In cases of sexual abuse, the abuser often acts with a plan. They first go on the hunt for a target. In places where children are present—such as schools, parks, or the child’s neighborhood or even within the family—they begin observing. They typically choose a quieter child, one who is less able to express themselves, and they start working on that. The abuser builds a relationship of trust with the child’s family. They come and go from the house, become like a family member, and earn the trust of those around them. Then, they begin to plan situations where they can be alone with the child.
For example, the abuser may take on responsibilities like taking the child to private lessons or to the park during the hours when the parents are at work. At first, they still do not engage in abuse. Instead, they work on gaining the child’s trust and creating a secret between them. For instance, they might buy the child ice cream—even though the parents don’t allow it during winter—and say, “This will be our little secret.” When the child knowingly eats the ice cream despite their parents’ rule, a secret is formed between them. In this way, the abuser creates a sense of debt in the child.
Once these "secret games" begin, the abuse phase follows. From that point on, the abuser starts threatening the child. They might say things like, “If you tell anyone, I’ll tell your parents that you’re a liar, that you secretly ate ice cream with me, and your mom won’t love you anymore.” If the child is older, the threats may escalate to, “I’ll hurt your family, no one will believe you, they’ll kick you out of the house, I’ll kill your pet,” and so on.
Considering a child’s stage of development, when they find themselves in such a dead end, they often assume these threats will come true and begin to hide the abuse. Sometimes this abuse goes unnoticed for months or even years. It’s only when the child can no longer bear it, or somehow finds the strength to end it, that they try to tell someone they trust. Therefore, the myth that abuse only comes from strangers is simply not true.
Secondly, even the method of luring children in cases of abuse by strangers—like offering candy in parks or playgrounds—is changing. An abuser might now take a pet to the park and use it to attract children by letting them pet the dog, then say things like, “I have lots of dogs at home,” to build a connection through such lies. This way, they can lure the child and commit abuse.
Third is the myth that abuse only happens to girls. We now know that boys are sexually abused just as often as girls. Research shows that boys simply have a harder time expressing it and understanding what has happened to them.
Another common misconception is that an abuser can be identified just by looking at them. However, in many child abuse cases in the United States today, we see that the perpetrators are often highly educated individuals, with high socioeconomic status, who are well-dressed and well-groomed. So, this is yet another myth that has been debunked.
4. Do you think the legal system in Cyprus is sufficient in preventing and punishing child abuse? What can be done to improve this system?
Personally, I do not believe it is sufficient. Although some updates have been made, until very recently, there were still outdated laws in place—left over from the time of the Republic of Cyprus—including penalties like corporal punishment or fines stated in obsolete currencies like the Cyprus Pound, which are no longer in use. While there have been improvements that are somewhat more deterrent in nature, they are still not enough when it comes to protecting children. Much more comprehensive revisions are needed. In addition to reforming the laws, we also need development in other areas. Because laws deal with the aftermath of abuse. But to prevent abuse, many steps need to be taken from the very beginning of the process. And right now, the laws alone are not sufficient.
5. What are the main dynamics that prevent the detection of abuse within the family?
We tend to assume that someone who would commit abuse can be identified by their appearance. Also, when we think of abuse, our minds often go straight to sexual abuse—but there are many types of child abuse. Emotional abuse is one of them. For example, during divorce processes, there can be extremely harmful situations known as parental alienation, where one parent turns the child against the other and completely isolates them. These forms of abuse are much harder to detect because, unlike physical abuse, they don’t have visible, concrete signs. As a result, our biases—based on someone’s appearance, social status, or level of education—can lead us to think, “They would never do that,” or “They would never hurt their child.”
6. What role can educational institutions play in protecting children from abuse?
One of our main concerns is that in many educational institutions or among administrators, there is still a misconception that “if a danger is not mentioned, the child will be protected from it.” For example, when it comes to substance use—there’s this misconception that if drugs aren’t talked about, children won’t know about them and therefore will be protected from this. However, it is just the opposite.
First and foremost, all educational institutions should provide sexual education to all children, tailored to their age and developmental level. However, when we mention “sexual education,” there’s often an immediate prejudice—people say things like, “Are we going to teach children about sex at this age?” But we're not talking about adult sexuality. This education is essential so that a child can protect their bodily integrity, distinguish between what is normal and what is not, and recognize behaviors that make them uncomfortable. We begin learning about privacy from our parents. What we’re talking about here is education about private body parts. For example: “If someone touches your chest, bottom, penis, or vulva, that’s a bad touch—don’t allow it. Only a doctor can look, or your parents.”
But we also know that sexual abuse is not limited to the genital areas. There are cases involving pedophiles who may become aroused just by touching a child's hair. The child may sense that the behavior makes them uncomfortable, but if we teach them that such behavior is not normal and that they have the right to say no if they feel uncomfortable, they will be more likely to speak up and tell their family. That’s why, starting at a very early age and continuing throughout all levels of education, children must be given sexual education that is appropriate for their age and developmental stage—starting at home and reinforced at school. They must know in order to protect themselves.
7. Are the psychological support mechanisms for children in Cyprus sufficient?
Currently, the Department of Social Services under the Ministry of Labor provides services in relation to abuse cases. Some projects are being carried out, but if you ask whether they are sufficient—the answer is no, mainly because there are not enough personnel. This creates significant issues in follow-up and support systems. One major improvement, however, is the redesign of the interview rooms affiliated with the department. In any assessment process, professionals can now monitor and record the interviews via camera. This allows for cross-examinations to continue during the court process while aiming to expose the child to as little trauma as possible during these interviews. So there have been positive steps regarding the physical environment of the interviews. However, there are still very serious problems within the support system. Due to the lack of a consistent follow-up system, intervention usually only happens after abuse has occurred. There is no well-developed system to protect children in high-risk situations or to serve as a warning mechanism beforehand.
8. What psychological disorders are most commonly observed in children following trauma caused by abuse?
Behavioral changes usually begin to appear. At this point, parental observation is crucial. Of course, it's not accurate to jump to the conclusion of abuse just because there is a behavioral change—but if a child suddenly begins to behave differently for no apparent reason, it's important to be alert. What kinds of changes are we talking about? The child may lose interest in things they previously loved and wanted to do. They might suddenly start daydreaming in class, stop paying attention, and lose motivation to study. Changes in appetite can occur, and concentration may begin to deteriorate. If parents cannot connect this shift in behavior to any obvious cause—such as “We moved to another city due to a job transfer and the child is having trouble adjusting,” or “There was a recent death in the family”—and yet the child’s behavior changes drastically, it’s a sign that should be taken seriously. Second, the child may start to show physical signs. Regressive behaviors can appear—suddenly sucking their thumb, wetting the bed, or being unable to perform skills they had previously mastered. At this point, parental observation and the lack of any other explanation should be considered together. Of course, we cannot say that every child who wets the bed is experiencing abuse, but it is one possible indicator. Third, the child may begin to avoid going to certain places—especially where the abuser is present. They might offer various excuses or try to come up with reasons to avoid going to that person’s house or being around them.
9. What kind of emotional burden does working with child abuse cases carry for mental health professionals?
It’s not easy. When working with children, you need to be prepared for the kind of scenarios you may encounter. You must have a high tolerance for pain and distress, because you cannot afford to process things emotionally while doing the work. You are there to help the child, to understand what they’ve been through, and to take steps to protect them—so you have to set aside your own emotions and focus on the task at hand. It’s an emotionally draining field. Especially when dealing with stories of sexual abuse, severe physical torture, or extreme neglect, you’re not hearing material that is easy to process. It is absolutely essential for professionals to receive supervision or support for their own mental well-being. This is not something you can handle alone or constantly expose yourself to without consequences. You can’t keep listening to that kind of toxic material and expect to be okay. Continuous training and supervision are necessary, and you must also evaluate your own mental state in order to be able to continue doing the work effectively.
10. How effective is the way media presents child abuse cases in raising public awareness?
To be clear, the media is definitely effective—but not in terms of protecting the child. Their impact is more about increasing their own circulation or ratings. In our country, the Media Ethics Board has established certain rules, which are binding for official and registered media outlets. These include things like keeping the child's name confidential, using only initials, and avoiding the disclosure of identifying information. Some news reports are sensitive to these rules. However, many are not. And there is absolutely no mechanism in place to monitor or regulate unregistered online news outlets, often referred to as internet journalism. There are two major problems here. First, even if the child's name is withheld and only initials and age are given—followed by the name of the village they live in—that alone is enough to identify them. Cyprus is a very small place, so even if you don’t give a name, by mentioning the initials, age, and location, you may as well be pointing to one of five children in that area. Let’s assume that all precautions are taken and the child’s identity is indeed protected. A second problem arises: the way these stories are reported. Instead of being presented in small print with minimal detail—as they should be—many of our media outlets describe the incident in such graphic detail that the public can easily visualize exactly what happened. Step by step, scene by scene, the entire nation reads and discusses what the child went through. These stories get shared online, and comments flood in. Rather than protecting the child, this type of reporting multiplies the trauma—doubling or tripling the psychological burden of an already devastating experience. Both the child and their family are continually exposed to these stories and the public discourse around them. They are judged. Parents may be accused of negligence; the child may be labeled as undisciplined. The trauma is relived over and over again. These kinds of reports should be printed in very small font, without any visuals, and with no graphic detail. Unfortunately, when you tell a media outlet this, they often respond with arguments about “the public’s right to know” or “freedom of the press.”
Currently, the only thing that can be done is to try to hide identifying details in headlines. But, as I mentioned, in a small community like ours, no matter what you do, the child often ends up being identifiable.